Of Cats and Cake
by Pandaleski
Summary: Ryuk convinces the shinigami King to turn Light into a cat so that he can infiltrate L. Only problem is…L hates cats.
1. Chapter 1

Not the most original idea, but... XD

_Premise: Ryuk convinces the shinigami King to turn Light into a cat so that he can infiltrate L. Only problem is…L hates cats._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note XD_

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><p><strong>Of Cats and Cake<strong>

**Chapter 1**

"Ryuk, I need a favor." Light spoke in smooth slyness. "Apples. I'll give you lots and LOTS of apples."

And that was how Ryuk had found himself in the shinigami realm, bargaining with the shingami King, about Light's request.

It was not a simple task, and thus Ryuk had been forced to give up a small amount of the apples he'd been promised, but it was worth it. This would be interesting to say the least.

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><p>Light glared daggers at Ryuk as he scooped him up and proceeded to scruff his fur.<p>

"Hyuk hyuk hyuk," he laughed, "how about this place?" he asked the disgruntled cat.

Light was not amused. Not at all. This was humiliating, but it would get L. He would find out his name, even if he had to turn into a cat to do it…which was what he had done. He'd seen how that man ate Hello Kitty cookies. And oh, how he gushed over them. Disgusting. Flirting with food, and then…petting it. Ugh. Nothing disgusted Light more than the disturbing behavior L displayed when eating. From the way he licked his donuts, to the delicate way he picked up the sweets, to the very rude way in which he sat. Gross, disgusting, disturbing.

But that was beside the point. L had a penchant for cats, and Light was going to exploit it.

"Meow~" Light tried. Damn it, he couldn't speak. It was of course Ryuk's fault. He knew that, by default, Ryuk would be unwilling to sacrifice his beloved apples and thus, Light had been denied the necessity of voice. "Meow~" he tried again, much more annoyed. Finally! At least he'd gained some control over this wretched body.

"Hyuk hyuk hyuk. So cute, Light." He scratched Light behind the ear, to which Light flattened his ears as far back as he could, a silent warning. "Heh, maybe I should take you to Misa. She could probably change that attitude of yours. Hyuk hyuk hyuk."

_Don't you dare._

"I need more apples, Light." Ryuk whined while still stroking the fur, "I had to give up half my apples."

_Half? Sure, Ryuk. Like you would give away 500 apples. _

Light complained wildly. A long drawn out meow escaped him and in return, Ryuk chuckled.

"500 apples and I'll drop you off at the hotel."

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><p><em>Damn you, Ryuk. <em>

Light was currently pacing back and forth in an alley. An ALLEY. Ryuk had left him not AT the hotel as promised, but in an alley just out back. Damn it! And then he had just left! What if someone else came along and picked him up? That was bound to happen to with his charmingly good looks. Or rather, now that he was a cat, impossibly cute charm. Yes, that was it.

What was more, he couldn't get a hold of L because that recluse never left the suite and Watari only ever went out to buy –

_Watari. Smooth move, Ryuk. Maybe I've rubbed off on you after all. _

Light wondered how he should play this. He would lay low, stay hidden close by the entrance, and make sure he caught sight of when Watari left. Yes…that should work.

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><p>As Light trod inside he was met with the horrible cooing of children. Ugh. Disgusting. That was the downside to being so goddamn irresistible. Oh, right 'cute'.<p>

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!" one of the many bellboys scurried hurriedly over, "This is no place for you, little kitty!"

Light scoffed. Little kitty? He was hardly that young for a cat, and in no way was he LITTLE.

The bellboy grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and carried him to what Light assumed was the nearest exit.

"Behave now, kitty." The man smiled before dropping him onto the filthy ground.

Ironically, it appeared he had ended up in the very same FILTHY alley Ryuk had left him in.

"Oh, Light," Ryuk started, the ever present grin decorating his face, "There you are."

Ryuk. Where the hell had he been? That no good IDIOT.

Light hissed at the shinigami, baring sharp teeth in what he hoped was a threatening manner.

"Heh, you try to find L?" he chuckled. Apparently Ryuk found the rotten way he was treated amusing.

Light growled, _where the fuck have you been? Bastard._

"Eh, well…"Ryuk sheepishly scratched the back of his own black head, "He's uh…kinda not at the hotel anymore so…"

_What!_ Light raised a paw, threatening claws pushing out and swiping at Ryuk, an attack that failed miserably. _Where. The. Fuck. Is. L._

"Heh, no worries, Light. I know where he is."

_Good. At least you're not completely useless._

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><p>Watari. The man was a godsend. Light currently found himself in a quite comfortable red chair. The same chair, Light knew, that just happened to be L's favorite. He smirked to himself as he envisioned the indignant look on L's face when he encountered none other than Light Yagami, in cat form, occupying the comfortable cushion. That is, if L would ever come out of hiding…which, Light suspected, was exactly what he was doing.<p>

"You must be starving," chimed the old man, "let me get you some milk."

Light wanted to politely decline, the way he was used to dealing with Watari, but nothing would come out except for a pathetic mewl, an action that Watari interpreted as nagging, or pleading…or dare he say it, BEGGING. And so, off the old man went, into the kitchen, probably fetching some canned tuna on the way.

Light lounged in the armchair while he waited for Watari to return. He had to THINK of something. How was he going to get L to like him? They thought so much alike that surely, he would be able to find some way that an actual animal, with the low intelligence level that they possessed, would seem appealing and possibly even…endearing. Initially, his plan had seemed flawless, but now that he thought about it, why would L take a liking to a random cat? Was there ever any indication that L actually liked animals? Other than Hello Kitty?

Watari returned mere moments later, and just as Light had suspected, brought with him both a bowl of milk and canned tuna.

Light inwardly sighed. He would have to surrender some of his pride if this was to work. It had to be believable.

"Meow~" he started, using the most pleased sound he could muster.

"Aww~" Watari cooed, just as he had expected the old man to, "You like that, huh?"

In return, Light nuzzled the old man's leg, trying to still the nausea he felt at having to degrade himself in such a way.

The inventor bent down and picked him up, enough to send Light yowling, but Watari didn't relent. He carried him to the chair and actually SAT DOWN in it, placing Light on his lap. _Gross, gross, gross,_ thought Light.

Watari then did something that shocked Light. Of course it had seemed like the obvious turn of events, but he still wasn't used to this body and so…when Watari proceeded to start PETTING him, he knew he was in trouble.

The warmth he felt was enough to send him into a dream like state, and if he hadn't heard the chuckles of a certain SOMEONE, he would've never known he was purring. Damn pleasure points!

"Hehe, looks like you're enjoying yourself, Light." Ryuk taunted.

_Damn you, Ryuk!_ Light hissed his warning, but instead of achieving the desired effect from a certain Death God, Watari retracted his hand as if he'd been burned.

_That wasn't_…Light deflated. He hadn't meant to scare Watari off. In fact, he was readily enjoying the sensation that wrinkled old hand was bringing, and now the old man was leaving.

"I guess you don't like physical contact much, huh?" he mused, looking pensive.

Light flattened his ears. This wasn't how it was supposed to go! Watari wasn't supposed to be so nice! He…he was here for L. It didn't matter much either way, but having Watari think he disliked physical contact was detrimental to his relationship with L. Nothing he did could jeopardize that. L had to think he liked to be touched. L had to like cuddling him, L had to –

"Oh, Ryuuzaki!" he heard Watari greet, "I have something you might like."

Oh no. Not NOW. Damn it. He supposed it was sooner rather than later, but still…he was unprepared.

"Oh? What is it Watari?" came the bored response.

And then there were footsteps. They were almost there…quick…what should he do?

The footsteps stopped. Onyx eyes locked with caramel.

If possible, L looked…annoyed?

TBC

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><p>This didn't turn out exactly as I planned.<p>

Tell me if I should continue this. Does anyone like this?


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for all the reviews, favorites, and story alerts! They made me really happy =)

_Premise: Ryuk convinces the shinigami King to turn Light into a cat so that he can infiltrate L. Only problem is…L hates cats._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note._

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><p><strong>Of Cats and Cake<strong>

**Chapter 2**

"The surprise isn't…cake?" L turned to Watari warily, doe eyes pleading.

Watari's eyes widened, and his eyebrows rose.

Of course. Of course L wouldn't like cats. Or animals. Or any other creature for that matter. And why was that? Well, Light had it all figured out.

It was because the detective was selfish and spoiled. L could see how Watari had taken a liking to him and it made him jealous. Hah! He would show L. He wasn't going anywhere.

"Ryuuzaki…?" Watari asked tentatively, as if a too sudden move might upset the fragile balance of the state L was currently in…or? Was there really nothing wrong?

"Where's the cake…?" L asked as endearingly and quietly as he could, almost whispering. But Light's ears caught the words.

_Bastard. That was all there was to it. _

"Right away." Watari nodded and as soon as Watari was out of earshot, L turned to Light.

As deadpan as ever, if not a hint of threat behind the words, he said, "I know what you're doing."

His eyes bored holes into Light's pelt, searching, and apparently, finding, what he was looking for.

He continued, "I am the greatest detective in the world. Don't think I don't know what you're up to."

_Oh no. But…how the hell did he get that from my EYES?_

"Stupid cat."

And with that, L left, probably to go watch Light's family on the hidden camera footage. The bastard.

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><p>"I'm sorry. It appears he has retired to his room." The go-between sighed.<p>

Light watched on as Watari brought out two bowls, one slightly larger than the other. He proceeded to watch as Watari opened a bottle of Evian water and poured it into the larger bowl. He even eyed Watari as the old man bent down and emptied the contents of a plastic container, which, looked NOTHING like cat food into the bowl. Peculiar.

"I don't know what you like, but fish is a safe bet, I think?" Watari smiled before he left the room.

Light trod over to the bowls and began to stare. His stare soon turned into a full-blown glare as he eyed the contents suspiciously.

Inside the smaller bowl was not fish, but certainly something PERTAINING to fish. The old man had dumped what appeared to be caviar into the bowl. Caviar.

Light sniffed the air around the bowl, trying to process the aroma, but no such luck. This caviar, or whatever it was, was of the non-smelling kind. Light frowned.

He tentatively licked at the miniscule bubbles, fishing up several of them in his spiny tongue. He let out an involuntary mewl as he found he liked it. Caviar. Well, Light had never had the delicacy as a human, and as a cat it was godly.

He found himself wondering, as he scooped up more and more of the soft roe, if this was the expensive kind…the Russian caviar he'd read about.

Not that he was complaining, it was certainly a meal fit for a god like himself, but…why would Watari give him this?

He frowned as no obvious reason came to him. Surely L was rich and Watari probably got more than enough money to himself, but…and then L wouldn't really care for roe with all his candies and cakes, which left…no. It didn't matter. Watari ate caviar, he was sure of. Although that didn't exactly matter.

What did matter was…why feed such luxuries to a cat?

Didn't matter. He was here for one reason, and one reason alone. As much it joyed him to annoy L, he had to get closer to the recluse.

That posed another, quite annoying, dilemma. The man appeared to hate cats. Judging by his departing comment, which he had almost whispered, L hated cats in general. Or disliked them. Whatever. Negative feelings toward the species at least. Now what was he going to do about that?

As he licked the bowl clean, he was faced YET AGAIN with another problem. His face was sticky from his meal, and he had no tissues. Where could the old man keep those?

It didn't cross Light's mind that he could use his PAWS to wipe away the excess 'grease', if Light had a say in the wording. It didn't even cross his mind to dip his nose in the water bowl, Evian too, which might have helped his situation.

No, instead he went to the kitchen.

_Tissue, tissue, tissue_, Light thought to himself. _Gah, there's no way they don't have that, not with the amount of junk L consumes and, might I add, SPILLS. _

He found, much to his great annoyance, that the island was too high for him to jump. He did, however, notice that if he was careful, he could climb the knobs in the drawers and reach the counter…

It took several tries, but eventually he reached the top. He found that there were no spare tissues lying around, but that there was a kitchen roll. _Finally!_ He cheered.

He had to leap onto the island, and then make a sprint so as to jump to the OTHER counter, where the paper towels were.

When he reached the other counter, he realized how agile he was. Something that would certainly come in handy when dealing with unwanted situations. Perhaps he could use this new skill to sneak up on L?

No! Focus. First thing's first. Get a paper towel, then move on to the _plan_.

He lifted a nimble paw and pondered how to best do this. How would he rip off a sheet?

He extracted the claws and observed them for a moment. They were sharp. As in, very, very sharp. They curved in a crescent shape, ending in a very sharp tip that could probably be useful in clawing L's face.

He dug them into the fiber of the paper and pulled, retracting them when he had pulled out a long enough sheet. From there on, he put down the same paw onto the paper, using his four legs to stand on it, and then attempting to slice the sheet off with the same claws.

It would have worked too, had he not heard a shriek of horror coming from the kitchen door.

"No, no, no, no, no." The old man hurried, "Bad kitty. You can't scratch the paper."

And before he had time to react, Light was promptly lifted away from his well-deserved paper towel, and locked out of the kitchen. Of course. This was something that was bound to happen again and again, and he would just have to find a way around it.

Watari unlocked the door before stepping out and closing it behind him, not forgetting to turn the lock as he did so.

_Damn. I'll need a key if I want to get in there again,_ Light noted.

Watari sighed, bending down to be more level with the cat, before speaking.

"Maybe we should get you a scratching post, huh?" he ruffled Light's fur, "That way you won't have to ruin our furniture OR the paper towels." He smiled.

Light was not amused.

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><p>Is there anything you'd like to see Light do? Any specific situation?<p>

L comes into the story later. At the moment, he's very anti cat!Light XD

Please leave me a review and tell me what you thought =)


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you a million times over for all the reviews, story alerts, and favorites! I cherish every one of them =D

Oh and there is no time limit to Light's cattiness XD

_Premise: Ryuk convinces the shinigami King to turn Light into a cat so that he can infiltrate L. Only problem is…L hates cats._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note._

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><p><strong>Of Cats and Cake<strong>

**Chapter 3**

Light growled as the old man dragged wrinkled fingers over his silky pelt. He hated being patronized like this and looked down upon. He bared his fangs, daring the old man to get any closer. There would be hell to pay if he didn't get the hint.

Light exhaled a sigh of relief when Watari went back into the kitchen.

He turned back to look at the empty bowl and the water filled one right beside it. He was still sticky from his meal and he realized with much horror that he'd have to clean himself either by licking his paws, or dipping his small head into the cool liquid. He chose the latter.

_I'm going to KILL you, Ryuk_, he cursed as he dipped his head into the pool and came out with drenched whiskers.

He brought up a paw to his face, and attempted to squeeze out some of the excess moisture by flattening the whiskers back onto his head. He was satisfied with the result, but there were no doubts that he looked ridiculous.

_Finally_, time for scheming.

The plan was to get L to become friendly with him; consider him as a friend, a friend that wouldn't betray him. This would be perfect. He could picture L running all his theories past the cat, not emitting one detail, as if speaking his thoughts would cause him to realize any crucial detail he'd missed. It would be perfect, if L would only get close to him…or no, that was Light's job.

This infiltration was proving to be much more problematic than he could've imagined.

At least he had Watari. The old man was a certified fan of cat!Light's cuteness, and it would serve to benefit him when the time came…perhaps he could even turn Watari against L.

Light smirked. Yes, that would be the plan.

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><p>Light was lounging in L's red plush chair, when the detective came into the room.<p>

_Perfect timing, L,_ thought the scheming cat formerly known as Light.

Light smirked inwardly as he made eye contact with L, and proceeded to, in his most submissive posture, slink off the comfortable plush to lie on the cool wooden floor at the foot of the chair.

And there he stayed, watching L intently as emotion after emotion flashed on his face, only to be replaced by the stoic façade everyone knew as detective!L. Light knew better. Any minute now, L would take that seat and demand cake from Watari and perhaps…

L narrowed his eyes in a very un-L way.

He eyed the golden fur ball suspiciously before taking careful steps over to his chair. First one foot reached the cushion, then another. L sat in that birdlike way of his, but then, then something completely unsuspected happened.

L leaned his head lower, lower, lower until he was face to face with Light.

How the hell had he done that? There was no way…nope. L was still attached by the feet to his chair. Apparently L was flexible. _Very_ flexible. Good to know…wait, what?

L's owlish eyes were now millimeters from Light's. The latter was now seriously suspecting L as Kira. Could he read minds too? Or had L been a shinigami all along?

"That's very clever Cat-san." He whispered.

Or not. He took it back. Everything he'd thought, he took it back. L was an idiot. He could never be Kira. Never.

Light looked on, trying to plaster puppy dog eyes on that little feline face of his. Yes, puppy dog eyes, despite the fact that he was a cat. It seemed not to be working.

"Don't give me that look." L narrowed his eyes in warning.

Light much preferred it this way. He didn't think he'd be able to stand those doe eyes much longer. Watchful, waiting, anticipating. They knew far too much, while these…these…STUPID eyes L was currently sporting, were far less intimidating.

Light mewled pathetically. He'd have to put on the best show of his life. It was now or never. This was the moment that would determine if he got into L's good graces or not. He had to succeed. If Kira couldn't do it, no one could. Even L in his position…but that was a different story. It would make for an excellent revenge though…L as a cat…hmm…

Light proceeded to rub his delicate face on…well, there really was no other place than to rub his chin against…L's chin…but as he leaned forward to do it, L moved and he collided with L's cheek. _This'll do_, Light thought smugly, and proceeded to rub himself against L with a purr.

L froze.

Light continued tentatively, at least trying to make it appear so; as if he was desperate for L's approval, which on second though, Light realized, he was. He shrugged inwardly. Just a little more.

Suddenly L pulled back, eyes as wide as saucers, and with the unnatural roundness of L's eyes, they really appeared so. He stared. Mortified it would seem.

Did he really not just hate cats? Was he afraid of them too?

Light smirked. This would be so interesting when he got out of this body. He could use this. He'd barely been in this body for a day and already he'd learned something about L.

L blinked.

"Did you just…smirk?"

Light paled.

He would never again underestimate L.

He jumped up on the armrest of the chair, very gracefully as he'd learned he could in this body, and watched L silently.

L was ever the suspicious detective. Light might even dare to say that he was more wary now with his cat self than with his Kira self. L stiffened considerably as Light leaned forward and…licked his cheek.

Light could hear the detective's breath hitch. This was just too amazing. If only he were in his human body now. If he had known all it took was a cat to scare L, he would've tried it ages ago.

Then suddenly L emitted a weird choking sound, and Light thought he was, in fact, choking.

_Oh shit, if he dies now, I wont get the chance to kill him…and get my revenge! Don't tell me he's allergic!_

And then L's lips pursed and he…let out wheezing noises.

Light backed off, whimpering slightly. That pathetic noise wasn't exactly planned but he doubted L would take notice, as he seemed to be literally DYING before his very eyes.

And then…L smiled.

Next came a very low giggle that Light was sure no one but himself could hear or had ever heard.

What the…

Light looked up hesitantly into the eyes of L and noticed, much to his astonishment, that L was still giggling, and smiling…his eyes even held a note of mirth.

When L had quieted down he focused sharp eyes on L, those same cold eyes, but his face still held the smile, and he spoke.

"That tickles."

It was a fact. All Light had learned was that L was ticklish. Oh joy.

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><p>Matty does a little happy dance every time there is a new favorite, story alert, or review ^.^ so please, please review =D If you do, cat!Light will fetch you one of L's half eaten donuts XD<p>

Oh, and keep the suggestions coming! You have so many amazing suggestion and I use them as inspiration ^ ^ So keep them coming in your reviews XD


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you so much for all the reviews, favorites, and story alerts! They make me write faster ^^ ESPECIALLY to those to review every chapter =)

_Premise: Ryuk convinces the shinigami King to turn Light into a cat so that he can infiltrate L. Only problem is…L hates cats._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note._

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><p><strong>Of Cats and Cake <strong>

**Chapter 4**

L pinned him with his eyes, staring intently. The smile never faltered, and Light supposed that that was the idea. L had realized that Light was no ordinary cat and was trying to confuse him.

While Light was busy scrutinizing the creepy smile that seemed oddly scheming in his cat eyes, L was executing a plan of his own. Light, of course, only found this out when it was too late, and pincer-like fingers had already dug into the scruff of his neck and picked him up as if he were one of L's many sweets, even though he looked at Light with disdain.

The smile widened to pedophilic proportions and Light was suddenly scared. Even if L wasn't aware that he was Kira, or Light for that matter, this didn't bode well. That smile could only mean one thing. L was up to something and he was going to give him hell.

* * *

><p>It was dark. It was so fucking dark. There were no windows; hence no moonlight shining in, and thus explained the darkness.<p>

L had petted him on the head; a very patronizing act indeed, and then thrown him into the cramped room before Light even had a chance to observe his surroundings.

Light grumbled and muttered in a series of hisses, growls, and annoyed mewls. L was going to pay. He could bet one of his nine lives that L had smugly smirked at the misfortune he was about to endure. Light was pissed, Light was furious, Light was –

"Ryuuzaki." Came the muffled voice.

That's good. He recognized that voice. Watari. Watari was home. Watari.

SALVATION!

"Ryuuzaki." He heard once more, "Where is the kitty?"

There came no reply from L, at least not what Light could make out, so he used the silence to his advantage.

He mewled hard. And scratched the door. The rasping noises were bound to be heard at some point…he hoped.

Although…the old man's hearing wasn't as good as L's was and if L had heard him, he wouldn't alert Watari to the sound or his whereabouts.

He tried again. More clawing, and more meowing, growling, and hissing. He just had to keep it up.

"Ryuuzaki!" Yes, that was definitely the sound of L being scolded. Wonderful, Light smirked.

The footsteps echoed as Watari got closer and then the door open abruptly, nearly blinding Light as he had been so accustomed to the dark by now.

"Ryuuzaki!" Watari shrieked, horrified, "Why is the kitty in the closet?"

_Closet, huh? Very sneaky, L._

He much preferred being picked up by Watari as there was no embarrassing being-suspended-in-the-air type moments as it had been when L had picked him up by the scruff of his neck. Watari held his by the chest, a comforting hand keeping him from slipping by being positioned at his behind. Watari pulled him to his chest and took long, purposeful strides down the hallway.

"Ryuuzaki." He reprimanded one more, "What is the meaning of this?"

L looked up with the large doe eyes again, the same eyes that Light had come to hate with a furious passion. He blinked innocently, that aggravating faux naïveté showing itself again.

"Watari." He acknowledged, "It was scratching my chair."

"And so you put him in the closet?" he voiced in disbelief.

"It needed to be punished."

"It?" Watari's eyes widened. "That reminds me, the kitty doesn't have a name yet." He looked down at Light, cocking his head as if asking the cat what it should be.

L gnawed pensively on a thumb, eyes vacant but deep in thought; Light knew that much.

"I will name it." L concluded.

Watari smiled widely.

"I'm glad," he grinned, "You're finally taking an active interest in the kitty. I'm sure you'll get a long just fine."

And with that having been said, Watari strolled up to where L was sitting in his red chair and plopped Light down unceremoniously into the wayward detective's lap.

Light looked up with horror, finding a shaggy head and owlish eyes that he was positive for a second had glinted red, staring down at him. He gulped as he realized his predicament.

The pedophilic smile was back full force.

* * *

><p>"Cat-san, maybe we should let Misa-san pick out your name." he mused aloud.<p>

Light's eyes widened in horror. He shook his frantically from side to side, hoping to dear honest GOD that he wouldn't call her in. That was the last thing he needed, or wanted in fact.

L narrowed his eyes at Light and stared at him for an endless period of time. It was then Light realized his error.

He meowed to repent for his obvious mistake, hoping L wouldn't notice.

"Cat-san has very human traits." He deduced, "Does he not like Misa-san?" he asked.

It was rhetorical, but Light found himself shaking his head AGAIN.

Thankfully, L hadn't looked down and realized that Light had now repeated those same 'human traits' he'd just been so suspicious about. He needed to be more careful. L was very observant and if he got wind of the Death Notes and that shinigami are indeed real, he might just figure out who dear 'Cat-san' is.

"Kira." L stated suddenly.

Light's eyes shot up at the detective who continued to stare straight ahead of him while simultaneously stroking Light's fur, something he had grown extremely fond of. Light, not L. God knows what that man thinks of anything.

L looked down upon realizing that Light was staring at him as if he'd grown two heads.

"Does Cat-san like that name?"

Then realization hit. Fuck, he was slow in this body. Maybe the smaller brain mass was starting to affect his intellectual capacity.

He shrunk back in horror, trying to get away from L.

"Light-kun?" he asked innocently, but before long a smirk was slowly creeping up on that smug face.

Light froze. This could not be good.

L sighed.

"Perhaps you are Light-kun's cat, Cat-san." He mused, "You respond to Kira-san and since Light-kun is Kira, you must be Light-kun's cat." He looked down at Light with a maniacal grin on his face, eyes sparkling with madness, "You can tell me. How does Kira _kill_?"

He sat there expectantly, lifting Light up to his eyelevel, all the while scaring the apparent life out of Light who seemed to have signed his death warrant with this shinigami-cat-deal business. He mewled pathetically.

"I need to infiltrate Kira." L mused out loud.

_Well, finally. Just spill your deepest secrets, L._

L spared a glance at Light.

"You know Light-kun, Cat-san. You will help me catch him."

_Huh?_

"But first you need a name. I will call Yagami-san to confirm it."

Light was deeply troubled. Not only did they not have a cat, but by now his father had probably noticed he was missing. He had told his father that he would be spending some time on the investigation with L to avoid Chief Yagami calling in every minute or so, insisting that Light had been kidnapped and demanding that L find him. Now they would know for sure he was gone. What was he to do?

Next, L would call Misa, of course, and that could not bode well either, and…oh, God. L would tell her he had a cat that he was positive it belonged to Light! Misa would want to see it, and she would gush over it, and –

He shuddered at the thought of being squished by Misa.

No. He would have to get in contact with Ryuk. The shinigami must have some sort of back up plan or replacement in case something like this was to happen. Surely, he wasn't the only human to have tried this, right…?

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><p>First part in naming Light…I hope XD<p>

Keep the suggestions coming and please review ^^ Pretty please =D


	5. Chapter 5

I'm really sorry this chapter took so long to get out. My brother decided to beat up my boyfriend and in the process, he broke his nose, rib, and fractured several ribs *sigh* and now I have to take care of him. It's kind of hard to write with someone constantly looking over your shoulder XD

Anyway, thanks for the reviews and feedback. Your reviews really are hilarious XD

_Premise: Ryuk convinces the shinigami King to turn Light into a cat so that he can infiltrate L. Only problem is…L hates cats._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note._

* * *

><p><strong>Of Cats and Cake<strong>

**Chapter 5**

"Watari, get Yagami-san on the phone." He paused, considering his next words, "It's urgent."

Watari nodded. Then he left.

L looked down at Light, who he still held by the scruff of his neck, much to Light's chagrin, and spoke.

"Do you know that shinigami only eat apples?"

Light's ears perched up in recognition at the words, a direct reaction to the statement.

L smirked.

"Light-kun is Kira." He concluded.

_Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. _

He was in so much trouble.

L's eyes turned to the microphone in front of him.

"Ryuuzaki." Came the standard greeting, "You called?"

"Yes, Yagami-san," greeted L right back, "It has come to my attention that you have a pet."

"A pet, Ryuuzaki?" he asked in confusion.

"Yes." L droned in a bored tone, "A cat."

There was a pause.

"Yagami-san?"

"I don't follow."

"A cat, Yagami-san. Estimated age; around 3 years, brown eyes, golden pelt…?" he reminded.

"We don't have a pet."

"I see."

Light could see the gears turning in L's head, analyzing the situation.

"Has Light been of any use?"

"Any use, Yagami-san?"

"With the investigation?"

Light's eyes widened in fear.

It was only a matter of time before L pieced two and two together. Even if he didn't discover that 'Cat-san' was Light Yagami in the flesh…or something of the sort, he would surely discover that Light had gone missing and would use that to point to Light as the obvious evidence that said teenager was, in fact, Kira.

What should he do?

"Yes." L mumbled absently, preoccupied in making deductions, or so Light thought, "He's very helpful."

"That's good to hear." Light could hear the smile in is father's words. The pride emanating off his words.

"Oh, Yagami-san?" he rushed the man's name, seemingly remembering something.

"Yes?"

"What time did Light-kun leave?"

There was another pause. Probably filled with his father thinking.

"Umm…"

"Yes?"

"…Sunday, I think?" he wasn't sure.

"You don't know what time." It was more of a statement than a question.

"Hmm? Oh…no. It was late."

"I see. Thank you, Yagami-san."

And the call ended.

He turned a smug face to Light, a twitch of the lips signaling the suppressed smile, or even smirk, playing there.

"Light-kun is missing." he addressed the cat. "Kira is planning something." A pause, perhaps to reflect, a smile finding its way up to his lips, "Interesting."

* * *

><p>How could things possibly get any worse?<p>

L was sat crouching, in his typical goblin-esque manner, on the floor, intent eyes focused on Light as he tried to feign sleep. But, as usual, nothing got past L.

"Cat-san. Cat-san." The same insistent tone over and over, and…

Oh God, he didn't!

"Cat-san, I know you're awake."

That bastard had indeed done the unthinkable.

He had poked Light's precious fur, stabbed him in the side, with that disgusting, probably unwashed, finger.

Light shuddered. _That bastard!_

Light shot up faster than L had time to react, and just as L was about to poke him again, Light dug his claws into the thin skin between his thumb and index finger.

L shrieked.

Light's ears shot up at the noise, mentally berating himself for not thinking through his action thoroughly enough. How was he to know that L would make such an unbearably high-pitched noise because of a little pain? Wasn't he the greatest detective in the world? Expressionless?

Whatever.

The next thing Light knew, he was flung across the room, his deft claws slowing him down until he reached the wall, unscathed of course.

When he looked up, he was frightened into submission by the look L was giving him. He could just FEEL the killing intent, and he hadn't even looked into L's eyes yet.

His lips were pressed into a thin line, the jaw probably clenching to avoid losing control all together and strangling Light. His nostrils were flared, oddly resembling Ryuk's thin, pig-like nose. And then…

The eyes. Those terrible eyes.

What was once doe-like or owlish were now two balls of flame. In a bout of insanity, Light mistook L for Ryuk and jumped up on his four legs, carelessly prancing over to L, ready to somehow hand out orders to Ryuk to perform to his family. The lack of Light-ness had to be accounted for somehow, after all.

As he reached L, he looked up into the haunting red eyes of what he deemed his untrustworthy shinigami and growled.

It was the signal they had both agreed on to subdue Ryuk. At least Light had deemed it so.

Then, to Light's utter astonishment, L growled back, even fiercer and louder than a noise Ryuk could come up with and he frowned. Inwardly of course. Cats don't frown, obviously.

He stood his ground. He would not be dominated by Ryuk's insolence. Cat!Light or Kira, it was all the same. Ryuk was Light's dog, and he was his master. L be damned.

Light's tail swung lazily behind him as he patiently watched it out. Ryuk loved to play games, and Light had all the time in the world. Well, not really. But he was used to Ryuk's foolishness so he could wait it out. He would get it his way in the end regardless.

And then L's expression changed. It became lifeless again. Dull and lackluster.

The disheveled detective tilted his head to the side and gazed at Light, whatever thoughts were going through the genius' mind completely lost to him.

What wasn't lost to him, however, was that he had embarrassingly enough mistaken L for Ryuk.

At least L seemed to have lost the ominous aura.

Wrong.

L bent down faster than Light had clawed his supposed 'master' earlier, and then there was just darkness…and the sound of footsteps.

Light surmised he must be in some kind of bag…plastic or cloth. Nevertheless, he was in trouble.

L in control never boded well.

* * *

><p>Light's first thought was that he'd been put in the closet again.<p>

Oh, how wrong he was.

He could hear the distinct sound of squawking, undeniably avian, and he knew he was outside. Seagulls perhaps?

Yes, most definitely seagulls.

_Vultures,_ he thought with disdain. _Disgusting creatures._

When he had gotten over his initial disgust of the species, he realized his predicament.

He was outside. In a plastic or cloth bag. And he was a cat.

They wouldn't actually attack him would they?

Of course, that depended on the sheer quantity of them, but he doubted even a few birds could defeat the great god, Kira.

But first, he needed to get out of this bag.

* * *

><p>Still no name for Light; L got distracted =P<p>

Please review ^^


	6. Chapter 6

I'm really sorry this took so long. My reasons are at the bottom. Thanks so much for the reviews ! I got way more for the last chapter than I'm used to. Really, it makes me all…giddy inside and definitely helps lift my mood when I'm being really emo XD I love you guys :P

_Premise: Ryuk convinces the shinigami King to turn Light into a cat so that he can infiltrate L. Only problem is…L hates cats._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note._

* * *

><p><strong>Of Cats and Cake<strong>

**Chapter 6**

"Ryuuzaki, what is the meaning of this?"

Somewhere along the line, he had passed out. He didn't know when it had happened or how long he'd been out there, but somehow, he'd passed out and magically he'd awoken to find…_this._

He was inside again; fresh cool air meeting that darned pelt of his and it was…well, he wasn't going to dignify that with a description. Not when he'd spent god knows how long outside in the scorching heat, being almost pecked to death by those wretched birds who mistook him for a rotting carcass, and then to magically awaken and find…well, it was heavenly.

He blearily opened his eyes to the sight of L.

_L._

He frowned in disdain. L. It was his fault. _He_ had put him out there. And for what? A little scratch. If he'd known L was a sissy, he wouldn't have bothered.

"Ryuuzaki." Watari reprimanded in an ice-cold tone, "What is the reason for this?"

L blinked up at the man, communicating his boredom perfectly.

Watari sighed.

"You have done nothing but aggravate the kitty."

L stared.

"You will fix this, young man. I'm tired of your attitude."

L stared vacantly at Watari and Light assumed that there was some hidden meaning in those words that only L would understand.

Damn it all! It was fun to see L scolded but L never reacted the way Light thought he would! Why was he so unpredictable? If this went on, his plan would never come to fruition and then…damn it!

Nevertheless…he was still wary of being alone with L and it seemed…yes, those were indeed footsteps echoing…away…damn it!

L stared vacantly at Light. It was a stare completely void of any malice, amusement, or…whatever other feelings L was capable of….no, it was…cold.

It took several minutes, but eventually L spoke.

"Cat-san." He addressed, his voice dripping with venom, "You have been a very _bad _Cat-san." Pause, for effect, "I will have to punish you."

L's tone somehow reminded him of the first time they 'met'. Well, the first time he heard L's voice at least, however much it was scrambled in the 'L. Lind Taylor Incident'.

L rose from his position on his chair and shuffled soundlessly over to Light's place on the cold tiled floor. Faster than Light had time to react, he was picked up in L's usual manner of having him suspended by the scruff of his neck and L was moving towards an unknown destination.

* * *

><p>Light was getting more and more worried by the minute. He had never seen L this angry before. He had never seen L angry before, period.<p>

They were in a bathroom. He assumed it was L's personal bathroom since there was an obnoxiously overbearing stench of strawberries. He wrinkled his nose. Nauseating.

L had dropped him unceremoniously on the toilet seat; thankfully the lid was down so he hadn't fallen into the germ-infested toilet water, which would, by all accounts, be utterly disgusting considering the filth that L ATE. To say L defecated like swine would be an understatement.

Light was sitting on his perch, tail swinging lazily behind him as he pondered what the fuck L was doing. The wayward detective was standing up by the sink, mixing bottles and bottles of god knows what into a small plastic container and used what appeared to be a stiff brush to mix it all together.

The fumes that emanated from that concoction could only be toxic. It smelled like ammonia.

He had been mixing for more than 10 minutes. Light narrowed his feline eyes. He was annoyed and the vomit inducing smell coming from the container was enough to make him bolt. Which he of course tried to do.

He snuck stealthily to the shut bathroom door. He proceeded slowly and cautiously lest he alert the nuisance to his actions. Almost there…

He reached the door and realized with a start that he could absolutely NOT exhibit his very HUMAN traits. Meaning, he could not jump up and turn the round doorknob so that he could finally leave what had become something resembling a gas chamber to his very sensitive feline nose, and body…surely, this was not healthy for a body of his size.

He stood warily at the door before he turned back to stare at L, who was STILL mixing the toxic substance or mix…or whatever the hell it might be. He didn't seem to notice Light's recent scheme to get out safely.

"Cat-san." He addressed without even sparing a glance to Light. "I have no intention of killing you."

…Or maybe not.

* * *

><p>He awoke to the sound of running water.<p>

He blearily opened his eyes, or at least tried to. He couldn't seem to SEE anything. It was black, and he knew from experience in his cat body that he could see very clearly in the dark. VERY clearly. So that wasn't it.

He finally came to his senses…or was woken up fully when…

A whole flood of water came crashing down on his head.

"MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW" he screeched as the impossibly WET water came into contact with his precious fur.

He was drenched.

It was the most horrid sensation, yet the coolness was there, and…he wanted it, but…AGH!

He scratched up the sides, trying to get leverage to get out of the blasted thing, but there was no chance. He was pushed back into what he deemed as a very slippery tub and he felt like he was drowning.

"Cat-san." The voice alerted him to its presence. Yes, it was L. It was a really fucking pissed off L and he was doing this.

"L?" he tried to speak, but he couldn't. It came out as a choked whimper and he shuddered at the thought. The thought that L was winning, the thought that L couldn't understand him, the knowledge that L was here…and…

This was his punishment.

L had planned this.

It was like the Second Kira tapes all over again, except now…he wasn't humiliated or annoyed or…OK, yes. He was all those things, but more than anything, he was scared. Scared for his life.

A thought hit him and his eyes widened. He didn't know if L could see him. If it was dark in the room or not or if it was only his eyes that were covered, but he realized too late what L had been doing.

The mix. It WAS ammonia.

It could've killed him.

L was worse than Kira. He would have killed Light. Was he trying to…kill Light…?

Light froze in his place. He felt the water caress his strands, his whiskers, everything. Everything was drenched, but he didn't really care anymore. What the hell was he dealing with? This was a whole new side to L that he had never known about. Did Watari know he was this sadistic?

"Stay still now Cat-san," he reminded with what Light considered an amused tint, "You don't want to hurt yourself."

* * *

><p><em>This…took an unpleasant turn. I'm sorry for the delay and the…lack of humor in this one. Truth is, I've had a really rough time and I've actually been kind of depressed so I wanted to wait to write this so I could make it funnier, but I realized that this would be better. Um…I tried to make L as IC as possible, but…I don't know. Is he IC? <em>

_Oh, and to explain this whole…well, Light hates L. At least right now. But after the seagull thing he's really pissed, but I figured L would be more pissed and has no qualms about showing it to Light since he's just a cat. Um, but yeah, this is just moving the plot forward I think. I made 3 different drafts of this and in the end I just couldn't make it funny and that's why it's like this. Please don't kill me!_

_Anyway, please review and tell me if you think this is too boring or depressing or…'cause I tried to make it funny? Is there anything funny in here? XD_

_Huggles,_

_Matt_


	7. Chapter 7

14 reviews? You guys are the best :)

Heh, bath time in this one ^^ and even more in next one :P Yesh, I'm on a roll. I've even started next chapter already ^^

Oh, and thanks to Homer4242 for this bath idea ^^

_Premise: Ryuk convinces the shinigami King to turn Light into a cat so that he can infiltrate L. Only problem is…L hates cats._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note._

* * *

><p><strong>Of Cats and Cake<strong>

**Chapter 7**

It happened so fast he hardly had time to process it. With the slam of a door far away or perhaps close and down the hall, Light couldn't tell, but with that sound, L reverted back to normal.

He stared warily and dubiously into dead charcoal eyes once again.

But then…oh, but then! Holy fucking shit!

What happened next would scar him for life.

L had decided it would be a good idea to get naked and he proceeded to do just THAT.

The white shirt was the first to go and Light's eyes became miniature saucers upon seeing L's disgustingly pale skin. Disgusting. He cringed. It was so disgusting. White. It was so white. If he just took one deft claw and scratched it down that long, thin surface he was sure he'd manage to paint a beautiful picture. He cackled madly, or tried to. It would sure as hell be a nice contrast to the UGLY that was L.

Light decided then and there that once he became 'normal' again, Kira would make tanning salons justice because it had to be a crime to look like THAT.

He cackled some more. He was hilarious!

He crinkled his nose and felt the whiskers bouncing off his wet cheeks. He glanced down at the very feline attributes. Fuzzy cheeks, drenched paws; …no opposable thumbs. He sighed and frowned in distaste.

He chose that moment to look up and couldn't stop the bile from rising. It was just so disgusting.

He vomited…all over himself.

"Cat-san!" L scolded, but Light wasn't looking up and he hardly cared to listen to L's reprimands. The sight he had been met with was enough to send him into an epileptic fit…or rather, a catatonic state in which he seemed to be finding himself at the very moment.

L was stark naked. No boxers, no nothing, and…it was all…so, so PALE. If he hadn't eaten anything for about a day due to a certain DETECTIVE he would have saved some vomit for L…when he finally decided to man up and step closer. Coward.

How vile! Who the hell did he think he was? Light snorted_, I bet he doesn't even WEAR boxers or any other underwear for that matter._

And then Light was thrown out of the tub, across the wet floor, his fur too soaked to be able to step on the tiled floor without slipping and he skidded into the trashcan in the corner with a loud 'oomph', making sure to mewl loudly in protest at his horrible OWNER'S behavior. He scoffed.

The nerve.

He straightened himself out with as much DIGNITY as he could, being a cat and all, and fixed his eyes on L.

What he saw made him quickly avert his eyes again. What the hell was wrong with that man? Did he have no pride, no dignity, NO SHAME? L was stood, bent OVER, cleaning the tub….or rather, that was what Light assumed the socially awkward detective was doing. There really was no telling what went through that head of his. Who cleans a tub LIKE THAT? If this were prison…Light shuddered at the thought.

He smirked. Perhaps he should teach L a lesson or two on etiquette. Sending L to prison instead of killing him seemed like a fine idea just about now.

* * *

><p>While L was busy scrubbing, Light was busy snoozing. It had been an exhausting day and though he'd rather not admit it, he didn't have the stamina L had and he couldn't be awake all hours of the day. Especially not when he'd been frying in the sun for a few hours. So…he slept.<p>

He was rudely awakened by a loud pounding. He surmised it was the door. He blearily opened one eye and inspected the room for any potential danger. Gas, AMMONIA, ropes; anything that could be used against him in any way…but there was none. He opened both eyes when he heard the sound of running water. He looked up.

He raised one nonexistent eyebrow at seeing a bush of black in the tub. So, there was no danger. He smiled.

He proceeded to watch L. When those intimidating, scrutinizing eyes weren't focused on him, he could actually rest easy. That hadn't happened at all in the time he'd known L, so he closed his eyes, deeming the treat nonexistent, and went back to sleep.

* * *

><p>There was a very persistent knock on the door. Again. It was starting to piss him off.<p>

Light opened his eyes and glared at the door, then focused his eyes on the tub and glared some more.

_L._

The detective was still there soaking, which left…Watari. He frowned. As much as the old man seemed to have taken a liking to him, that didn't exactly mean Light had to like him back. He sneered. Senile old man. He sure had the worst timing.

And then the door opened.

He yelped as the door caught his tail and severely BRUTALIZED it upon opening.

"Kitty?" Watari asked carefully and then looked around the bathroom searching for his presence.

He seemed to finally spot Light and the cat growled deep in his throat, baring his fangs, his fur puffed out menacingly, warning Watari to stay the fuck away.

Watari sighed and turned to L.

"What have you been doing?" he seemed to demand.

L opened one owlish eye and squinted at Watari, the rest of his face hidden underneath the water.

He raised his head enough for his lips to reach the surface and mumbled, "I am taking a bath." As if it wasn't obvious enough.

Watari stiffened and straightened out to his full height.

"I can see that, L," he seemed to hiss, at least that's what it seemed like to Light, "What I meant was, why on earth is the kitty wet but still dirty?" he paused, gauging a reaction out of L…of which he got only a weak glare, "You wouldn't by any chance have tried anything…_funny_, would you?"

L grumbled, "Of course not."

Light couldn't see Watari's face because the old man's back was to him but he assumed the old man was grinning very smugly right about now. It sure as hell seemed like it from his tone.

And then…damn it! Again! He was picked up by the scruff AGAIN and then…he was plopped down into the FILTHY L infested water along with the menace himself.

He froze.

This was too disgusting. The water was so brown he couldn't even see L's nasty paleness…

He realized with horror that Watari was still in the room. This meant, of course, that if he were to try to climb out of the tub, as had happened with L, he'd be promptly pushed down again. Just his luck. He scowled some more.

L eyed him innocently, his face once again hidden in the water, only the eyes and the mop of wet hair visible.

Light sighed and tried desperately to ENDURE but it was hard. Really hard. Especially when Watari spoke.

"You're not leaving until the both of you are as fresh as daisies. Is that clear?"

L eyed him and pouted, not that Watari could see that, but Light, being almost drowned in the deep water, deep for a cat at least, could spot it perfectly.

"Yes, Watari." Came the perfect monotone and then the door slammed and they were alone.

Fucking perfect.

* * *

><p>If I offended anyone with the 'epileptic fit' thing, I'm sorry. Epilepsy runs in our family and my mom has it, as does my uncle, and my aunt, so I know it sucks.<p>

Review?


	8. Chapter 8

18 reviews? –faints- Matty loves you.

_Premise: Ryuk convinces the shinigami King to turn Light into a cat so that he can infiltrate L. Only problem is…L hates cats._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note._

* * *

><p><strong>Of Cats and Cake<strong>

**Chapter 8**

Seemingly out of nowhere, L brought out what appeared to be a floating strawberry.

Light eyed it warily, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

But when L didn't immediately put it into his mouth, Light realized it was indeed…a rubber strawberry.

It floated slowly in front of L and both L and Light's eyes were intently focused on it. Then L flicked it and it went skidding up to Light and hit him square in the nose with a faint 'squeak'. Light frowned.

He lifted a now very heavy paw, drenched from all the water, and pawed it feebly, sending it skidding right back to L.

L had, during this small exchange, delved deeper into the water, and now even his nose was beneath the surface. He blew some bubbles and watched the strawberry come closer with interest and when it was within reach of his face, he plopped up his face and stuck out his tongue and licked the strawberry, the object bouncing away upon the touch.

Light giggled, inwardly of course. It was silly…and cute. Because it was stupid? He didn't really know, but L seemed happy somehow.

L blew more bubbles, sending the strawberry floating closer and closer to Light. This time he lunged for it and dug his claws into it, making it let out a squeaky wheezing noise as it deflated.

_Shit._

He inwardly cringed. Who knew if this would make L lash out again? The man was as predictable as a hormonal teenage girl.

Light looked up to find a pouting L.

It was cute.

"That wasn't very nice, Cat-san." He pouted some more and then rose from the water and leaned over the edge of the tub, his pale backside coming into view again and Light quickly averted his eyes. He'd forgotten how disturbing L looked naked. All that paleness.

And then L was back and he smiled one of his very disturbingly L-like smiles as he brought forth three rubber…fruits. This time it was an apple. _How ironic_, thought Light. There was another strawberry and an absurdly disproportionate raspberry.

Light eyed them with interest.

L flicked the apple first, then the strawberry, and lastly, the raspberry.

Light's senses went on alert as he debated which fake fruit to tackle first. He chose the strawberry.

He gnawed at it for a while, his hind paws digging into the rubber with ease and scratching at it as if it were alive and was…well, an animal, and not a strawberry.

"Cat-san likes strawberries." L remarked and Light looked up to find L smiling. Or at least that's what he figured it was. L's lips and nose were currently under the water, as if hiding from Light's scrutinizing gaze, "So do I." he murmured from under the surface, but Light heard.

Unwittingly, they had found a common denominator. They had something in common; this was what Light had been waiting for. He now had a golden ticket…or what he assumed was his golden ticket. One never knew with L, but somehow…he figured he had earned L's trust and that was the first step in the process.

And then L was on him, and scrubbing him, and he suddenly became an L that Light HATED and he wiggled and thrashed and scratched and tried desperately to escape out of L's grasp.

But L was unperturbed.

Suddenly, L was immune to Light's scratches, despite having thrown a hissy fit upon receiving the TINIEST scratch earlier.

Then there was something sticky dripping down on top of his head, running down his forehead and narrowly avoiding getting in his eyes, and he shut them tightly to avoid going blind. He wasn't exactly sure if L's nasty…_soap_ was toxic to cats, OR humans for that matter, but he sure as hell wasn't going to risk it.

And he REALLY hoped it was soap.

He could feel the hands massaging in the foam, stroking his fur the WRONG WAY and suddenly he was pulled down into the water and he couldn't breathe.

The hands were still roaming his fur underneath the surface, rinsing all the soap off and now he REALLY couldn't breathe. His nose, his ears, his…everything was under water and he never realized how absolutely DANGEROUS water could be…or L. L was trying to kill him…AGAIN. Well, he'd definitely learned his lesson regarding L and the…ammonia _incident_, but…that damn detective had tricked him with those rubber strawberries and that…pout. He frowned as he felt himself losing consciousness.

And then as suddenly as he'd been pushed into the water, he was lifted and…he was trying to cough but it was ridiculous how painful it was for him to do so. Apparently, something as simple as coughing had become torture upon turning into a cat. He would store that bit of information away. For future reference. He eventually gave up and decided to endure the agony. He opened his eyes.

He realized then that…L had really, really BIG eyeballs.

Then he blacked out.

* * *

><p>He awoke to an insistent clicking. Click, click, click…there was a pause, and then it resumed again. It was a very annoying pattern, and his head was pounding from the sheer volume of it. Didn't whoever was bothering him (obviously, L) realize that a GOD was trying to sleep? Well, apparently not.<p>

He'd gotten drunk before, to see what it was like, but the pain he'd felt the morning after was NOTHING compared to this. Head-churning pounding. He felt like his heart had moved in with his brain and was having sex with it.

That's when the noise abruptly stopped and he felt…yes, confused? Peace at last? Hmm…it wasn't likely.

_L._

He opened his eyes.

And damn it, if that eye hadn't just gotten fucking bigger.

L was hovering above him like a freaking zeppelin and…it was really fucking scary.

"Cat-san," L announced after…a really eerie pause, "You're awake."

His eyes never left Light though, and they made no move to back off or focus elsewhere. Light was at a standstill of what to do. Should he scratch L's face? He could easily scratch L's face. But scratching L's face would likely undo all the progress he'd made already so he…damn it, he…resorted to…mewling.

It was pathetic really.

L's eyes took on a bored expression.

"Cat-san," he stated, "perhaps that works on Watari but I am immune to your cuteness. Please refrain from making that sound around me."

Light stopped.

_Damn it!_

L's lips curved up and formed that creepy grin again.

"Cat-san…?" he seemed to taunt, grin still in place and eyes wide and mad.

Light looked up.

The grin got wider.

"Cat-san…" L seemed to sing. "Could it be…that you…understand me…?"

_Shit._ Well, this was going well.

* * *

><p>He blacks out a lot doesn't he? Hmm, well…another cliffhanger -_-<p>

Please review –smiles-

Oh and also, it has come to my attention –smiles- that some of you want to know the pairing. As in, will this be Light/L or L/Light? Um, just out of…CURIOSITY, I was wondering…which you prefer. It probably won't affect the outcome of this fic, but I'm still curious. I still don't know if this will be YAOI or not, but to those of you who don't like that sort of thing, don't worry, if it happens, it won't be for a while, hehe, but since I'm very into guys haha, it's very likely it'll happen at some point –smiles- so yeah, please tell me in a review which pairing you prefer –smiles- I'm curious cos I know what I prefer but …yeah –smiles-

Next chapter could take a while, just so you know.


	9. Chapter 9

So, I'm back. I'm sorry for this massive delay. I've had a horrible 5 months and that's really all I can say as to why I haven't written anything. Thank you so much for your messages and everyone whose just kind of been there, talked to me, to those of you who know what's been going on and have read my KH story. And even those who didn't. If you guys didn't nag so much at me to update, this might've never happened :) Umm…anyway, I don't know if my writing is different than it used to be so…please tell me if it is. I'm really nervous about this; it's been a while.

The italics in the beginning is the recap from last chapter.

_Premise: Ryuk convinces the shinigami King to turn Light into a cat so that he can infiltrate L. Only problem is…L hates cats._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note._

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><p><strong>Of Cats and Cake <strong>

**Chapter 9**

_L's lips curved up and formed that creepy grin again._

"_Cat-san…?" he seemed to taunt, grin still in place and eyes wide and mad._

_Light looked up._

_The grin got wider._

"_Cat-san…" L seemed to sing. "Could it be…that you…understand me…?"_

_Shit. Well, this was going well._

* * *

><p>L put a finger to his lips and smiled calculatingly. Light stood frozen. Shit! How the hell did he get THAT from THAT! Light was beside himself.<p>

"Hmmm, Cat-san?"

Light looked up, but L wasn't looking at him. Instead he was looking at something beyond Light's head. Something glowing. Well, the computer screens were there…

"Interesting." The detective murmured.

Light's ears perked up at the tone but he couldn't do anything but observe.

L glided over to the screens, much more smoothly than Light could have given him credit for and leaned down and delicately picked up the phone. Ah, it was ringing.

"Ryuuzaki speaking." He paused, allowing for the person on the other line to speak, "Is that so? That's very interesting." He paused yet again and Light could feel the mock in those eyes despite them being locked on the screens in front of him, "I'll see what I can do." and then L put down the receiver signaling the call was over.

He turned to Light and stared vacantly, seemingly lost in himself.

"Light-kun," he proclaimed suddenly and Light inwardly cringed, "has gone missing." He exhaled a sigh of relief. "We must act fast." He paused, started chewing his thumb, and then mumbled, "I'm sure he's got something big planned."

L stood frozen for a few minutes, and Light recognized the look as thinking. There was no use in fretting or trying to calculate what L was thinking. He already knew the gist of it anyway. L thought Light was planning something; that 'Kira' was. And if they couldn't find Light….

"Cat-san." Light looked up, "I will send a nationwide search for Light-kun and if I cannot find him…" he smiled in the way that made Light cringe, "well. We'll just have to see."

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><p>Light was alone in his room. Or rather, the room he'd made for himself. His 'proper' bedroom was actually in the lobby, but he wasn't going to sleep in that cold space. It was too gray… and worse, it smelled of <em>L<em>.

This room was nicer. It has lemon colored walls, a nice Victorian bed at the centre, and a warming beige full covering carpet. And best of all, it was empty. He decided he could sleep here tonight.

He crossed his paws and laid his head down to rest. His neck really hurt. He couldn't crane it as a cat, not in the way he was used to. In addition to all his other problems, here was a new one. He had to learn new mannerisms; more feline mannerisms. If there's anything he would get out of this when he was done, it'd be that he'd be much better at analyzing things and situations. Better than L.

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><p>The morning after was filled with suspense, at least for Light anyway. The free week the whole team was given was up, and Light knew that they'd all be very eager to start afresh on the Kira case, and maybe now, even finding him since he was technically 'missing'. He decided he would go down early and find a good hiding place so he could best observe their proceedings. The real work would begin now. He could finally see what information L had. Whether he knew or didn't know what Light feared he might…<p>

He scampered down the stairs, cursing L once more. There weren't enough curses in any of the languages he knew combined that could do justify to the contempt, and dare he ever admit it, fear, he felt upon thinking of L. At this moment in time at least. Even if he was Kira, L seemed to have gained an advantage over him, even if he didn't know that Light was his new pet.

He trudged onward, to the kitchen. Suddenly he collided head on with something.

He meowed angrily; it would not be L. He had some supersonic radar to avoid any physical contact, while still managing to get up in everyone's personal space. He would not be a roadblock like this.

There was a gasp.

Shit.

"A cat! Ryuuzaki! Is she YOURS?"

He could practically feel the foolish grin. He mentally slapped himself. Why were they even here? At this time.

"Or maybe you're a little boy, huh?" he said in an impossibly embarrassing baby voice.

He heard the deep sigh, characteristic of Aizawa.

"Matsuda. You don't have to yell, he's right here."

Light looked up and sneered. His damn luck.

Matsuda seemed so large up this close. He had to crane his neck back so far just to be able to see his chest, and the atrocious tie he'd picked out.

Matsuda bent down, reaching for the cat, but Light knew better. In a second he was gone, and out of Matsuda's clutches, something he likely wouldn't be getting out of for a long time had he been captured.

"Awww," Matsuda pouted, "he got away."

Light glared irritably at the floor in his corner of the room. Matsuda was even more of annoying to him as a cat, and seemed to even pose a rather large threat too. It appeared he was worse than Sayu when it came to cute things. Under no circumstances would he be _snuggled._ Least of all with Matsuda.

"So, Ryuuzaki," it was his dad, "any news on Light?" his wrinkles formed deeper lines in his face as he showed his concern.

Light scanned the room. Everyone was there. Matsuda, Aizawa, L, his father, even Mogi. He continued observing; it was, after all, all he could do presently.

"Yagami-san," L droned from his chair, or so Light supposed. He couldn't quite see him from his position, "I have sent out a few professionals. Currently…" he spared a glance back at Light, where he was hiding, "Currently, they are searching."

"Ryuuzaki, really – "

"I assure you, Yagami-san, Light-kun will be found," Soichiro seemed to relax considerably at that, "And along with him, Kira."

There was a collective gasp.

"What are you saying, Ryuuzaki?" his father supplied, shocked, and surprised.

"You mean Kira has Light-kun?" Matsuda gaped.

Everyone turned their eyes to L, including Light. He already knew what was coming so he wasn't surprised, he couldn't do anything at the moment anyway. Not with any of these clowns in the room.

L sighed, "Light-kun," he paused, stirring his tea, "is Kira. His absence here today is proof."

"Light-kun's missing?" Light grimaced. It seemed Matsuda was the most devastated at this news.

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, but what does this really prove that Light-kun is Kira?" Aizawa stepped in.

"This is nonsense!"

Light rested his chin on his paws. They were so predictable. He knew L would make it out to seem he was Kira in some way or other; he really wasn't surprised. He was more annoyed at the team's obvious reactions. Oh well, idiots will be…idiots.

"Ryuuzaki?"

Light peered up at them.

"You will find him, won't you?" It was his dad again.

There was a moment of silence before L spoke.

"I already have."

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><p>I know it's not the best, but I'm glad I finished this. And like. Last chapter. Everyone is so nice. Like all your reviews just really make me feel like I'm not shit and like…thanks :)<p>

Oh and another thing, the poll I did last chapter, I'm not going to raise the rating. I've decided not to do a yaoi or anything too OOC. There won't be smut so, sorry if that disappoints you, but um, the consensus was L/Light as opposed to Light/L if any of you were curious :3

Help me and review, please? I don't know if this is even remotely in the same tone as the other chapters.


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry this is late, but thanks to everyone who urged me to continue writing.

_Premise: Ryuk convinces the shinigami King to turn Light into a cat so that he can infiltrate L. Only problem is…L hates cats._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note._

* * *

><p><strong>Of Cats and Cake <strong>

**Chapter 10**

"Where is Light-kun, Ryuuzaki?" Matsuda seemed to almost yell, and with a hint of wonder in his voice too.

"Yes, Ryuuzaki, tell me where my son is!"

L wasn't saying anything, just waiting for more anticipation to build up, basking in the glory in the meanwhile, glory of these idiots. Not like that mattered anyway.

Light was very curious to know just _where_ he was, because he was damn sure L had no damn clue, he was the cat sleeping on his tiles at night. But, unfortunately, Light couldn't stay to find out. He had work to do.

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><p>"Ryuuk!" no answer.<p>

"Ryuuk!" Light was screaming at the top of his lungs.

Ryuuk was sure to hear his voice no matter how cat-like, he was a shinigami after all, and he'd made Light this way, or…at least had some of the juice in him that he _must_ understand him, at least he seemed to at times.

"Ryuuk!" but the shinigami wasn't responding.

Light stood at the top of the building L and his crew were currently in, and Light too. His mission was far from complete, but there were so many things to be done, just that damn Ryuuk!

It was all his fault.

Light decided to try one more time.

"Ryuuk!" still no reply. He waited though.

Silence.

Light stared into the glare of the sky. It was gray and nasty today, just how he liked it. He admired the view.

"Booh!"

And as fate would have it, that was when Ryuuk decided to show, scaring Light out of his fur.

"Ryuuk!"

The shinigami doubled up laughing, probably having planned the whole prank.

"Damn you!" he yelled and screamed, but all that came out were pathetic mewls.

"Poor Cat-san, do you need your litter box?" he cracked another joke.

He was just filled with jokes.

Light had had it.

"Ryuuk!" he commanded, "one more stunt like that and I will poison all the apples in the _world_ and make sure you never take another _bite_ out of one." Ryuuk shut up immediately, going…well…even more pale than usual. Light smirked behind the kitty façade.

He added, "Especially the red ones."

There was a moment of silence before the big storm, or rather…well, Light liked the storm because it was immensely gratifying.

"Light, no, no, Light, I'm sorry! Please don't poison my apples! I love apples!"

Light had him right where he wanted him, just as planned.

"Ryuuk, I won't, as long as you listen to me!" he glared, "It's important and I don't have all day. I need to make sure L doesn't one up me, and that I one up him instead!"

"Uh…"

"Don't question my genius plan."

"Yes, Light."

"Good, now what have you done regarding my human form?"

"Uh…oh. That."

Light practically shook with rage.

"Yes. THAT."

"Well, uh…you said it would become a problem if you just disappeared and …uh…your dad was looking for you wasn't he?" he chuckled.

"What did you do."

"Hehe. It's funny."

"Tell me. NOW"

"Hehe, like…nah. Best you see for yourself."

He was gonna poison those apples all right. Damn Ryuuk. Wasting precious time.

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><p>One minute they were on the roof of L's building and…now…well.<p>

"What. Is. Wrong. With. Me."

"Hehe, you like it?"

"Ryuuk!"

They were stood watching Light, or, rather the body of Light, stood outside his house banging his head against the door. By accident of course. His whole body was…walking into the door.

"Hehe, I call it…the 'Walker'" Ryuuk sported a huge grin.

What.

He was dealing with a bunch of _idiots_. Not only the idiots from the bureau but now…ugh.

"HOW am I supposed to make my plan work when you pull something like THIS, tell me that, Ryuuk."

He shrugged, "I'm just a shinigami."

"All the apples. Gone. That is a_ promise_."

"NO! No Light, I can fix it I promise!" he faltered, "Or uh…I can see what I can do?"

Light glared at him.

"You better fix this. If this is what L claims to have 'found' then everything will be _ruined_, do you hear me?"

"Yeah, yeah."

Light turned back to stare at his human form.

"What's wrong with him anyway?"

"You mean your body?"

"What else." He shot a dark glare at Ryuuk.

"Doesn't think. Hehe. Kinda funny, seeing you don't think."

Light glared. "Don't get used to it," pause, "FIX it."

"Yeah."

"Now take me back before they suspect anything."

"Nah. You can walk. I have to fix this, hehe." He paused to take one last look at Light banging his head against the wall. "Who would suspect the cat anyway." He smirked.

And Ryuuk disappeared.

Damn him!

He stared at his body, 'the Walker'. He hoped it didn't break his nose hitting the wall like that. He'd kill Ryuuk if his face was anything less than perfect when this was all over.

Ryuuk did have a point though. Not even L would consider the possibility that Light had been turned into a cat, by a shinigami of all things.

He smirked.

No, he was going to win this; he was going to show L.

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><p>I have no idea when the next chapter is coming, but please review in the meanwhile? :)<p> 


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